Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, religious education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I suppose mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anybody else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, colossal actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your assets are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.